Some of you may know that Dave and I had two weddings. One in America and the other in Kenya. They were a year apart from each other, the one in America being first. So understandably I thought that the second one would be no big deal. I would not experience butterflies or as much excitement as the first one. Oh, how wrong I was! Infact I was more nervous than the first time! Perhaps it was because this was home and there was more family and friends for me, or maybe it was because I had to make a lot of decisions about the wedding being it was Dave’s first trip to Kenya.
Whatever the reason, I literally felt like I needed a bag to hyperventilate into when my make up was being done. By the time I arrived at the church and walked down the aisle I was struggling to hold my tears back. My emotions calmed down once I got close to the altar however and when I looked at Dave he whispered ‘hey sweets!’ At that moment we could have been the only ones in the church, I knew that’s all that mattered. My eyes fixed on him and I knew and focusing on what was important helped calm me. I was reflecting on that incident when thinking about prayer and meditation recently. It seemed to present to me a real-life example on how to get the best of the time we spend with God.
If you are anything like I am sitting down to pray may not be the challenge but settling down to prayer is another story. Once I set out to pray then a dozen thoughts come rushing to my mind, some pleasant, some anxious, others so random I wonder where they came from. Needless to say, when I allow my thoughts to wander they tend to sway so much I begin to wonder if am not in actual sense a mental case just able to hide the fact well from those around me! Half an hour later I either give up in frustration or have to remind myself why I am sitting still again. I don’t think having easy access to social media and all forms of online entertainment has helped my case either. My already overactive imagination is fueled to a frenzy and I have to work harder to convince my soul to find rest in the only place that there is true rest: In my Father’s arms.
Back to the analogy of my second wedding day, despite all the thoughts that were on my mind I still had to walk down that aisle. I knew I loved the man at the end of that aisle, and I had to get to him to let him know that, to commit my heart and life once more to him, forsaking all others in the presence of my family and friends. The anxious thoughts could not take away the truth of the love I had nor the security I felt in being close to him. Now I only had to get close enough to express these feelings. If I turned away, I would not have the experience of mutual love expressed and the sense of security and confidence in him and his love for me that I did once I got closer. So often I have let my fears and distractions turn me away from steadfastly walking towards the goal of my prayer time: Intimacy with my Beloved, to know once more that I am loved and to share the love I have for Him. He is there, always there, waiting and when I choose to continue walking despite all the distractions, fears, pain disappointments, I come to that place of rest. The place I receive strength to turn once more and face the world with its challenges and as with Dave and I as we walked joyfully down the aisle, I don’t walk back from a time of prayer alone but with my Beloved holding my hand proudly presenting me to the world as His bride. Though He never truly left me, I wander and get don’t experience His proximity unless I make a decision and conscious effort to do so. ‘You will seek Me and you will find Me when you seek Me with your whole heart!’ Jeremiah 29:13 He welcomes you and I to come to that place of rest so we can lay down our worries before Him, won’t you walk with me to meet our Loving Father? He loves you and waits for you!
